I wanted this because I have often wondered if I had borderline tendencies. I can say I have occasionally felt like they did in the film. However, those were on my worst days, and they were probably the best days for them.
I’m still so confused, because I was in a relationship with a person who I believed to be a narcissist, and maybe BPD too. However, I’m very empathic, and I also have very intense feelings of real and perceived abandonment.
This exploded in my face in the last relationship I was in. I was love-bombed, and treated so well I thought I found my soul mate. I’ve since read that Narcs do this, often to people with BPD. Which makes me wonder if I have BPD. I’ve certainly displayed some of those same symptoms, but only during the worst of times (i.e. on our 2nd anniversary trip, I spent a fortune to take her somewhere amazing, but I caught COVID the 2nd day we were there, and ended up in the hospital...she thought I was faking it, even though my fever was very high, and I was vomiting everywhere), at that point I just blew up at her, because she got a plane ticket to go back home and leave me there in the hospital.
I just don’t know. It seem’s to me like if I dated a narc, then maybe I must be BPD....but also it seems they have so much in common, sometimes I wonder if I’m the narc, or was...
I’m just so confused. I tried to do everything I could to save the relationship. I let her do extreme things to me, and I just figured....this is the price I have to pay to be with the person I love, it’s ok if she’s a little sick, because as long as I’m with her, it will be ok...but she just kept withholding from me, it’s like I was lucky to see her once a week, then once every two weeks, then once a month, or two months...and then when we were together everything would be perfect. I just never understood why she didn’t want that life with me all the time.
I still don’t get it. I don’t know if she was BPD or Narc or if I was, or we both were....I’m just so confused. To the point I just don’t know if I’ll ever be able to have another relationship again because I’m too filled with doubt.