Thank you for making this movie. SO brave of all the participants. While I was watching I felt so understood. I just wished I could let it out like her. All those feelings, the aggression, the sadness, emptiness.... I feel the exact same, same thoughts, same pain, but internalize it and it gets stuck there. Except from periodical hidden eruptions. So nobody knows how I am feeling. Makes me physically ill and...well, I just wish I could let it out, because not being able to share your feelings is such a lonely place to be.
Thank you for such cool thoughts and words. So so so glad you connected with this. I wish I could give something akin to advice on sharing feelings. I can't. I can say what has worked for me.... I started writing... EVERYTHING. All the things I could not share with anyone (even my therapist). And somehow, even though many of the things I write are not for daily exchange, the act of speaking my internal world has helped me better express myself because it makes me more practiced at being self / other aware, so I have space to make choices on what to share. I know you weren't asking for advice, so please just consider this a co-traveler's efforts to improve her state, and the unintentional benefits of speaking her 'noxious' and embarrassing and strange feelings into a computer screen....
I feel the same way Petra. Those were my first thoughts. I'm terrified about what I would say or do if I let my true feelings out. So I stay... stuck and utterly miserable.